March 21^st 2009 b
Anger Over Bipolar Disorder
When I was untreated I was hardly ever able to refrain from keeping clam. I would fly into a fit of anger and quickly advanced to full blown rage. Now that I’m well medicated I don’t get angry very often. Right now I’m angry. I have my kids 24/7 all the time. I try to go to bed before them at about 10 so I can have some personal time. Never works. Today I went to lay down even though I wasn’t tired just so I could have some alone time. In 45 minutes they came in 4 times. I mean come on! They’re really good kids, it’s just this one thing… I have no personal time. It exhausts me.

I’ve taken Sydney to Maia’s for an overnight visit and have instructed Kyle and Jessica to take care of me and not pester me the rest of the day. Jessica is making dinner and Kyle has been sitting beside me I think to let me know he loves me.  I know they do. That isn’t the point. Mom just needs some R&R time.

I’m feeling a bit depressed. I’m not too interested in trying to feel better. I should go walking, the sun is out. This might be the only time we see it this week. Maybe.

Maybe I’ll go in my room and read or something. I dunno.    

I have some what the same things happen too my kids love to come right on in my room but now finally they ask before they come in and if i say no i want to be alone they stay out.