My Bipolar State Today
I feel like crap today. I’m losing my voice and I still have that crap in my chest. I had chest x-rays and sinus CT scan. This thing in my chest has been going on for about four weeks now. I wish the doctor would just put me in the hospital and get rid of it. I feel like I’m drowning. Does wonders for my agitation level.

I’m at Jessica’s open gym with her this evening. She’s graduating tomorrow and is trying to put together a routine.

Someone here stinks. I think it’s the boy sitting next to me.

I’d like to get to know a couple of the ladies her as friends. Too bad they’re too busy and besides not likely to like lil’ fat ole me.  I love listening to Lizzy lead a class. Her voice is so lively, musical, strong and happy. I wish I could be friends with her but she’s so busy. See how I feel sorry for myself? I’m a little depressed. I made a music cd for a casual friend. Doing things like that always make me feel better. She won’t know it was from me. I like it that way.

 I’m so very bored. Jessica is just far enough away from me for me to not be able to see what she’s doing. My eyesight is getting very bad. I need to have them checked.

One good thing about this week, ok two…. I had a flat tire and I got two new tires. And secondly …. I forget…  (later) I still forget.

Now it’s  the 6^th. Jessica just did her routine for her first degree blue belt. I’m so proud of her. I wish I could be out there with her but there are the problems of my right knee and my asthma. .. but I make excuses for myself. We got some really good pictures of her and Sifu.  My lungs are gurgling again. I think I’ll take a nap.