A few days ago I did my first chicken BBQ. We were all out there on the deck. My mind was at ease.

My left knee is so totally killing me. I’m even icing it in bed before sleep last night.

(Today) Well, I’m in the parking lot of The Dock, a building with shops in it down on the Foss Waterway. I’m here because the kids paternal grandparents are having their 50^th wedding anniversary down at the Wooden Boat Museum (or whatever it’s called). Obviously I’m not invited and I don’t want to be so I dropped the kids off and here I sit.

Lucy (I’ve named my right knee Lucy) is in pain. In a minutes time I can go from no pain to 8… it just depends on the stresses and pull and positions and such my Lucy is in. I’ve got my seat all the way back and the laptop is sitting in the steering wheel. Lucy feels okay at the moment.

I haven’t blogged because I’ve had much on my mind. The kids are finishing school for the summer but Jessica and Sydney are going to do a bit more Sylvan.

Sydney’s birthday is the 23^rd, Tuesday of a week from now. I got the brilliant idea of going camping. So we’re going camping in my little car at Millersylvania down by Olympia. We’ll be there for four days and three nights. I hope we can pack enough food and everything else. I’m going to make the kids hold their stuff. I’m excited and scared. I’ve never taken them camping in tents before. I haven’t camped in a tent since college.

This week I’m planning on spending time with my parents (around all the other things I have to do) to put together a kit of their things we can use on the trip. They have a Coleman stove and lanterns and stuff.

Check out time is 2:30, which is good, because I’m driving home, taking a shower and then going to the hospital for surgery on Lucy. Doctor Coray says that compared to him taking the plug out of my left knee for my ankle this will look really horrible and I should be prepared for that. I’m not looking forward to it. I’ve been weight training and cleaning my room to get ready. I really just want to panic and go spend money I don’t have on books. They comfort me. I might need to know something in them.

I guess the kids’ dad has been very depressed for a while. I asked my counselor if I should have the kids call him. She said not to, it’s his responsibility as the adult to call them. Sydney has already convinced herself he’s not going to call her for her birthday and hates him for it. I told Kae, his mom, and suggested he call the day before because we’ll still be home. I guess I didn’t have to do that.

I’ve actively re-embraced the idea that we all have to follow our bliss in order to be happy. When I met my ex he was a happy go lucky guy with not a care in the world. Then he stepped out of his bliss and had marriage responsibilities. Then he converted to Christianity for me. Then we had 3 kids.

He’s so far out of his bliss. Now he wants to be a traveling preacher and he hates his job. (Grapevine) He still struggles with pornography (I found out this in a round about way) and tries to council others how to fight it. How hypocritical is that? He hasn’t defeated his own sin but he’s teaching others to. So sad… and not his bliss… I think that’s why he’s so depressed. I could of course be wrong.

My bliss is to take care of my Bipolar Disorder by not working a regular job, writing, and being a full-time mom. I’m going to start drawing again too. I love to draw. My hands seem to have forgotten how to do it so I’m struggling and am like a new student. I haven’t drawn in like two years.

TV shows I look forward to watching now or are waiting for include: Primeval, Torchwood, Sanctuary, and Eureka. Great shows.

This week Jessica has the Compass test for Running Start (so she can take college/high school classes at the same time. While she does that I’ll run over to Walmart and have the tires balanced. The next day Sydney has her arm doctor appointment to assess how she’s doing. Then I have to get the oil changed. And on it goes.